


In The Absence of Children

by MaryAnne615



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4089802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryAnne615/pseuds/MaryAnne615
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of sitting in a computer file, I finally found copies of the Star Trek:Voyager stories that I wrote years ago. I'm happy to be posting them on AO3.</p>
<p>On an away mission, Captain Kathryn Janeway is lost and alone.  Well, not alone...she finds an infant and tries to find shelter and food for her and the child.  It's her natural instinct to want to take care of those who can't fend for themselves.  But this time, she might not be successful.</p>
<p>This is not a happy story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Absence of Children

Chakotay slammed his fists down on the console in frustration, desperately trying to fathom the situation. Kathryn had been alone on the planet's surface for 6 hours now. Granted, that wasn't a dangerous situation for an accomplished Starfleet captain but she didn't have a tricorder or a survival pack. She didn't even have a flashlight.

He remembered her words as he accompanied her to the Transporter room earlier that day after he had aired his protests against the captain going to an unexplored planet. He or Tuvok should be the ones beaming to the surface.

"I'll be fine, Chakotay. There are very few people on the surface and I, we will be okay."

She and the other six members of the Away Team had then beamed off of the ship in a shimmering sparkle. Within hours the results of the Away Team's scans had revealed that while the current residents of the planet were years behind Starfleet in technology, a thriving and advanced civilization had once lived there. Remains of great cities lay buried in mounds of rubble from what Chakotay took to be as massive earthquakes. Further scans had revealed immense shifts in tectonics. Apparently the planet had somehow shifted orbit, throwing the planet into chaos. The crew had quietly dubbed this "Planet 9.0" in reference to the Richter scale once used to categorize earthquakes on Earth. Hundreds of earthquakes of this magnitude or higher had rocked the planet within days of each other and the citizens had never had a chance to abandon their homes whether or not they had been capable of space flight.

But those earthquakes had been a hundred years ago and yet another one was rocking the planet as Chakotay watched the readouts. Measuring 13.0 on the new scale, this earthquake was centered on Grid A- 98, the epicenter a mere fifty miles from Kathryn's current location. 

The Away Team had stumbled across the remains of an immense force field somehow still intact from the previous civilization. The crew on Voyager could read her comm signal perfectly but they just couldn't beam her out. And a malfunction in their transporters prevented anyone from going to the surface. A shuttlecraft would never punch through the radiation in the upper atmosphere. They couldn't even establish contact with her. They could only stare at the readouts as she walked about the caves in search, no doubt, of a way out of the labyrinth they were reading on their consoles. There was no sign of the other six members of the Away Team. Chakotay and the crew on board the Starship Voyager could only assume they were dead.

Voyager's crew had found the source of the force field and was seeking ways to shut it off or destroy it. But Chakotay was fearful of a show of technology to the people living there and was saving destruction as his final option. As long as he could see that she was safe and relatively unharmed, Chakotay was content to wait for other answers.

"B'Elanna, what about a skeletal scan that you used to get us off of the Borg cube a few months ago?" He had laughed when Kathryn had privately told him about how Voyager's Chief Engineer had saved his life by locking onto the minerals in his bones. Made him very glad that he ate well and took vitamins.

"Commander, it's not that I can't get a lock on her, I just can't keep it. The force field is not allowing any type of continuous scan. If she would move out of the range of the force field I could have her back in a moment. We are still trying to raise communication with her." Torres looked at the Executive Officer for a moment, holding his gaze and telling him with her eyes 'we will get her, all of them, out of there' before bending back over the console she currently shared with Ensign Kim. The two officers had been trying for two hours to reopen communications with their Commanding Officer, all to no avail.

"Just keep trying and keep me posted on any breakthroughs, please." Chakotay looked at Paris sitting quietly at the conn and decided that this was the time for him to retreat to the Captain's Ready Room. Now he understood why she so often left when there was nothing she could do but there was plenty for the bridge crew to do: his presence was making them nervous. Hovering over these seasoned crewmembers would not make them work harder or better. They didn't need micromanaging-they needed space in which to do their work, mix their magic, bring back their missing 7 crewmembers.

The other six members of the Away Team had been hand picked by Kathryn Janeway herself: three security personnel, two other scientists and an archeologist. She had wanted young and inexperienced personnel in order to help them learn and grow. Scans of the planet's surface had revealed pockets of people living as nomads. No industrial area, no signs of space flight capability, not even organized agriculture. Apparently they were the ragtag descendents of the civilization destroyed by the shifting crust of the planet and had not yet rebuilt their planet to the pre-quake standards. Their mission had been to find a completely uninhabited spot so the crew could enjoy some R & R and possibly restock supplies. The first quake had hit within one hour of the beam out from Voyager and had caught everyone by surprise. No warning, nothing. Just a garbled message from the Captain-- "Trapped--looking--shelter--dead." That was it. Now, just silence. Hours and hours of silence.

Ensign Kim had a clear reading of the Captain's comm badge, they could even read her vital signs and realized that she was alright. But the other six signals had not been found and, Chakotay thought unhappily, probably never would. Kathryn had gone into a cave about ½ mile from her location when the quake hit. Chakotay couldn't figure out why she would head underground during a quake-it seemed like an instant death sentence but she must have had a good reason. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathryn shivered in the cold that was creeping slowly into the cave she was in. Contrary to what Chakotay thought, she did have a flashlight, although one of the dual lenses had shattered when she had tripped over some rocks. She just wasn't paying attention to her feet and had stumbled. 

Several meters had separated her and the other crewmembers when the quake hit, swallowing the rest of the entire Away Team in a sinkhole that had opened up literally under their feet. Their screams were still echoing in her ears and she found it hard to concentrate on her current mission. She had spied several members of a clan heading quickly for the cave entrance about a ½ mile to her left. Curious as to what they might know that she didn't, she had followed them into the caverns. That was over three hours ago. Now she was thoroughly lost, not to mention tired, hungry and extremely cold. She was about to sit and rest when she heard a sound coming from a passageway to the left of her current position. Kathryn moved cautiously, not sure what they would think of a person approaching them with such technology as a flashlight. She had carefully dressed like the dwellers on the planet-a plain brown dress that was so long it came almost to her feet. Plain sandals and a leather bag finished off the outfit. But her dress was now torn and dirty and her hair was mussed. Her tricorder was smashed outside the cave. She didn't even know what had happened to it, only that it had been in pieces when she went to retrieve it.

Kathryn approached the cavern quietly, not wanting to spook the people there. Firelight reflected off of the cavern's walls and she doused her flashlight and tucked it in her pouch. The noise was coming from the far side of the fire but Kathryn couldn't see from where. Bodies were lying around here and there- some killed by fallen debris, others showing no signs of trauma. No rocks had fallen on their bodies but they were clearly dead. Some of their faces were contorted into expressions of terror as if some great pain had gripped them before they died. Kathryn touched their necks gingerly, searching for a pulse but the bodies were already cold. Confusion was overtaking her-what had killed the ones not buried under rubble from the quake? She didn't know. She listened again for the noises she had heard previously. 

She heard nothing.

Kathryn circled the fire and noticed a small bundle moving in front of her. She approached carefully then removed the cloth covering the bundle.

A small face smiled up at her. 

It was a baby-about 6 months old, completely free of injury and actually gurgling at the sight of Kathryn. She stared, dumbfounded, for almost a full minute before stooping and picking it up. It instantly began to coo and snuggle in her arms, probably grateful for the warmth of her body.

"Hello there my little friend." Kathryn spoke softly and touched the infant's chin. 

"What's happened here? Why did they die?" 

With those words Kathryn realized that it must have been some sort of a disease and, if it was air-borne, she was now probably at risk. Kathryn couldn't figure out why her crew hadn't beamed her off of the planet yet-she wasn't that far underground. By all rights Chakotay should have snatched the Away Team at the first signs of trouble but hadn't. 

The infant squirmed in Kathryn's arm and she felt a damp spot on her arm. Further investigation revealed a rather wet bottom. 

"Uh-oh, now what do I do? Huh, little one?" She smiled at the child before beginning a search of the bags strewn around on the floor. She eventually found a pile of rags that matched what was already wrapped around the child's bottom. Kathryn laid the child down on a blanket and proceeded to change the diaper. 

It was a girl.

"So, my new friend, do you have a name?" She finished changing the baby and picked her back up, putting the baby's face on hers and holding her little body against her neck and chest. Giggles erupted from the infant. A tiny fist grabbed at Kathryn's ear. 

"You're not very talkative. At least tell me how to get out of here." Kathryn turned and raised up her wrist and turned on her flashlight. The beam of light crossed the cavern's wall and revealed a passageway that Kathryn had not seen before. Footprints in the sand were facing the cavern she was in now. Kathryn wondered if she could backtrack by those prints. 

Before she left she made sure all the bodies were covered with blankets. She also took more rags for the baby and a skin full of water. There was no food-apparently these people didn't think that they were going to be underground for long.

Holding the baby on her hip she proceeded down the passageway into blackness. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back on Voyager Chakotay was sitting at Kathryn's desk, trying to find his own solution to their dilemma. The force field prevented them from beaming her out and Chakotay wasn't ready to destroy the energy source. Their own transporters were inoperative-a plasma conduit had erupted and until the engineers could fix it that wasn't an option. A shuttlecraft wouldn't make it through the radiation in the upper atmosphere. 

'She's not in danger and until she is we will work on another solution.' He was content with the knowledge that she was safe.

Chakotay leaned back against the soft leather of her chair. As he wiggled around he wondered if Kathryn had specially requested this chair because it certainly didn't seem to him to be standard Starfleet issue. It was smaller than the One-Size-Fits-All chairs found on starships. It was almost uncomfortable to him but he realized with a grin that she was shorter than he was and it was, after all, her chair. He reflected over the past few months since their encounter with Species 8472 and integrating Seven of Nine with the crew of Voyager. 

Their personal relationship at first had been strained. Kathryn's professionalism had never wavered in front of the crew but in private she was a little cool towards him. He had kept a safe distance from her, hoping that they could at least be friends. But after only a few weeks Kathryn had invited him to dinner in her quarters. After a full meal of spinach quiche and Caesar salad they had talked into the wee hours of the morning, laughing and giggling at different anecdotes they told of their lives. More dinners and after-dinner gatherings followed and their relationship become more and more personal and stronger. They had attended holodeck gatherings together and spent more time in the holodeck running different types of programs.

He had even kissed her once.

They had returned from one of Neelix's Talent Nights to Kathryn's quarters and she stood before him, wishing him a good night.

He had returned the good night and leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. 

Why? He didn't know, it was just something he felt that he had to do at that moment in history. And she hadn't backed away or reprimanded him. Just smiled softly and wished him pleasant dreams.

"They will be," had been his reply. 

Whether or not she caught the true meaning was irrelevant. He had said it and that was what was important.

The next day on the bridge she had smiled at him and Chakotay felt in his heart that whatever rift had been created by the 8472 episode was now closed, smoothed over and part of the past. Later that morning they had been sitting in her Ready Room chatting about crew rosters.

"Chakotay, how about dinner tonight? Do you already have plans?"

"No, I don't. What's on your mind?"

"I think we need to talk."

Chakotay could tell by the sparkle in her eye that they were not going to be defining any parameters that evening. He smiled back at her.

"Certainly, I--"

"Bridge to Captain Janeway!"

The interruption by Lieutenant Commander Tuvok had been the announcement of their arrival at the planet they currently orbited. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathryn was still stumbling around in the caves, desperately trying to find a hint of sunlight in all the surrounding darkness. The footprints had long disappeared on the rock floor and Kathryn had met with several intersections in the caverns. She was getting tired and the baby's weight was heavy.

And she was starting to get fussy. 

Kathryn knew enough about children to understand that the baby would get hungry. What to feed her is what Kathryn didn't know. There had been no food in the belongings of the group she had found and there were no plants inside the caverns. And she herself was getting rather hungry-the gnawing in her stomach was quite uncomfortable. She sat down for a moment, trying to get her bearings and to rest for a moment. 

"So, little one, what do we do now?"

Kathryn looked into the dark eyes of the child. All the faces of the dead group had looked human and with same variances in hair, eye and skin color that humans shared. The baby's body wasn't any different than that of a human child. Kathryn took a few sips of the cool water from the skin and then dabbed her finger into the liquid. Carefully she moved her hand over the baby's mouth and let the water droplet fall in. The baby instantly became aware of the water and squirmed in Kathryn's lap.

"Thirsty, huh?" Kathryn continued this motion, adding two more fingers so that the baby could get even more water. But that only whetted the baby's appetite and she began to cry with hunger. 

"Shhh, little one, I know you're hungry. Just be patient while I search for some food." Kathryn's mind was racing to think about what to feed the child. Milk. An infant that age needs milk. 

Kathryn shifted the child in her arms and was instantly shocked at the movement the baby made against her chest. Feeling the curve of Kathryn's breast against her face the child instinctively reached her mouth towards what she thought was a source of food. Kathryn felt the blush rise on her face as she realized what the child was doing. She shifted her away from her chest but that made the child scream even louder. For almost a minute Kathryn thought about letting the girl suck on her nipple anyway but then thought that the baby would only get madder when she realized there was no milk. 

Time to move on.

Kathryn quickly gathered up her leather bag and water skin and moved on. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Commander! The captain is heading towards the end of the force field. Another hundred yards and we can beam her up!" There was a high level of excitement in Ensign Kim's voice and everyone on the bridge looked at him. Chakotay moved to Kim's console and saw the blip that represented Kathryn moving towards the edge of the force field. She had apparently made her way out of the cave but was staying close to the opening.

'Keep moving, Kathryn,' he urged her with his thoughts. Closer and closer she moved. Soon she was within 10 yards of being beamed up. Then she abruptly stopped. Chakotay watched the screen intently, trying to figure out what she was doing. Of course, she had no idea that she was under a force field or that they were waiting to beam her up. 

'Kathryn, what are you doing? Keep moving!' Chakotay's mind was screaming at her now. The blip stayed motionless for another five minutes before she began moving again. Back in the direction she came.

"B'Elanna, can you use a modified beam to reach around the force field? She's so close--"

"No, Commander. I can't." B'Elanna's voice was small and full of regret. 

Chakotay watched helpless as Kathryn moved back towards the cave entrance and away from the perimeter of the force field. So close. And yet so far. 

"B'Elanna, how soon before we can beam a team down to the surface?" He was crossing the bridge now, returning to the command chairs in the middle of the room.

"Another three hours." Her fingers were flying over the colored pads of her panel.

"You've got two." His words were clipped and forceful. 

"Aye, sir." She bent back over her console and he could hear her contacting the crews in Engineering and the Transporter room, giving orders at the unseen people in those departments. 

Chakotay heard the doors to the turbolift open and glanced up to see The Doctor. The holographic Doctor had once said he liked coming to the bridge because, technically, that's where his brain was. The command center, the center of the computers that controlled the ship. And he was a part of the computer. At first Kathryn and Chakotay had been hesitant about the use of The Doctor's choice of words but now realized that The Doctor had accepted the computer as his brain much as living creatures accepted their own brains as being their central core. Without it, they were all dead.

"Commander, I have found some information that I think you might find interesting." 

"Okay. What?"

The Doctor went to Harry's console and punched a few buttons. Chakotay returned to that console and waited for The Doctor's explanation.

"I have been monitoring the captain's condition carefully since the first quakes began several hours ago." His fingers were dancing on the console. 

"Here." He pointed. Chakotay didn't see anything and said so.

The Doctor grumbled. 

"Well, first of all, she is perfectly healthy and uninjured. Pulse, respiration, heartbeat, everything is normal. Jumpy at times but that is because she is exerting herself trying to get out of the caves and she is beginning to tire a bit. But this is what I wanted to show you." 

Chakotay leaned over and saw that he was pointing at another set of vital signs.

"What...?"

"Seems she has a friend. An infant, I am estimating about 5 to 10 months old, judging by the heart rate."

Chakotay took in The Doctor's words and realized that must be why Kathryn went back into the cave. She's seeking protection and shelter for a child. Kathryn must have discovered the infant inside the cavern. He wondered what had happened to the parents. An infant that young couldn't have survived long without care so the parents couldn't have been gone too long. Perhaps they had been killed by wild animals or by the earthquake. Or by enemies.

Suddenly he wanted her out of there.

"But they are both okay?"

"As far as I can tell. But children that young can be very demanding. I'm not sure what she's feeding the child, but I hope it's something good. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathryn had sensed the daylight before she actually saw it. The child's screams were deafening in the passageway, the cries reverberating off of each wall. She had tried desperately to comfort her but to no avail. The child was hungry, plain and simple, and soft words were not going to help. Kathryn could also sense that the child was weakening, and not from hunger. She was growing listless and felt hot. Kathryn couldn't help but wonder if whatever had killed the adult group was now infecting this child. And so, how long before Kathryn herself was affected?

Kathryn turned off her flashlight and waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Then she realized that she could barely see the walls and floor of the cavern and started walking faster.

She blinked quickly when she reached the sunlight and she felt tears in her eyes as her pupils readjusted to the level of brightness. Dropping her parcels she pulled the crying child up to her face. 

"We made it! Now I can hopefully find you some food."

She scanned the immediate area, hoping to find some fruit trees or even some wild vegetables to mash into food. Kathryn didn't want to wander too far from the mouth of the cave. She liked the idea of the protection the cave offered but also thought that perhaps others would arrive at the cave and she could give them the child or at least get some milk. 

She found a tree bearing fruit that looked somewhat like coconuts. Kathryn picked up a few and returned to her bag and water skin. She gently laid the baby down on the ground and picked up a rock. Smashing the coconut open she saw a white milky substance inside.

Bingo! Eagerly she picked up a piece and sniffed it. Nothing toxic in the scent. Then she licked the white pulp and took a bite. Tasted very much like coconut. Not the sweet stuff that is refined and put on doughnuts or cake. No, true wild coconut that very few people ever tasted. 

She waited a few minutes, hoping that if there were any poisons in the fruit it would effect her instantly. Nothing. 

She cracked open another coconut, this time leaving the milky liquid inside. Then she picked up the baby and cradled her in her arms. She poured some milk into the palm of her hand and then poured drops into the baby's mouth.

The child instantly began to move her lips and swallow the liquid.

A smile broke out on Kathryn's face. She had bought some time. The infant seemed to like the milk and drank almost all of what was inside the fruit. Kathryn burped the infant over her left shoulder and rocked her to sleep. Trying to remember the words of a lullaby Kathryn had heard as a child, she sang ever so softly to the dozing child in her arms. 

Out of my window, looking in the night  
I can see the barges flickering lights  
Silently go the stars through the air  
And the barges they are everywhere.  
Barges, I would like to sail with you  
I would like to sail the ocean blue  
Barges have you treasures in your hold  
Do you fight with pirates brave and bold?

The infant looked at Kathryn as she sang.

"Yes, I know, it's a stupid song, but the melody is nice." She touched her nose to the baby's and smiled. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Commander, we can beam a team down there now!" B'Elanna's voice broke over the intercom. In the background Chakotay could hear the humming of the warp core and shouts of people still working on broken conduits. He moved towards the turbolift door, motioning to Tuvok to do follow him. 

"Mr. Paris, you have the bridge. Inform the Transporter Room that Tuvok and I are going to beam to the surface and have The Doctor meet us there." His words trailed behind him as the doors closed on him and the Security Officer.

Minutes later the three of them were on the planet's surface, right outside the perimeter of the force field closest to Kathryn's location. She was only 50 yards ahead, just inside the mouth of the cave. She hadn't moved in awhile. The Doctor stated she must be sleeping because her vitals had slowed considerably. 

And she was. Chakotay could see her curled up on her side, her legs creating a natural barrier for the bundle in her arms that Chakotay assumed was the infant they had detected. The three approached carefully, not wanting to startle her awake. 

"Kathryn." He called from a distance of 10 yards.

She stirred in her sleep and then opened her eyes as Chakotay repeated her name. 

"I'm here! Chakotay?" Confused still with sleepiness she blinked her eyes and looked around. She tried to get up but remembered that there was an infant in her arms. She confirmed that the voices belong to her crewmembers then focused her attention on the child. The child that was not moving and was quite cold in Kathryn's arms. She frantically grabbed at the blanket surrounding the child and moved it away.

"Wake up!" Her voice was frustrated, desperate. A few tugs on the infant's arms. There still was no movement. 

"Please--don't--" Chakotay could hear the cracking of her voice as she realized the child was dead. She pulled the bundle against her chest and held it for a moment, not looking at the three men that now surrounded her, all unsure of what to do or to say. Finally Chakotay leaned over and looked into her face. 

"Let's go back to Voyager, Kathryn." Her blue eyes fixed onto his and she nodded. He extended his hand to her and pulled her up while she clutched the bundle to her chest. The Doctor made a motion to her that he would carry the dead child but she refused to let him or Tuvok touch her. Together the three of them left the cave and silently returned to the ship. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathryn was curled up in her bed, lying on her side and facing the back wall when Chakotay entered. He had stopped first at the hydroponics bay and cut a huge bouquet of flowers for her. He knew she was hurting, suffering immensely over the child's death. While The Doctor had given her a clean bill of health, he had ordered Captain Janeway to a day or two of bed rest. Surprisingly, she had taken it. Chakotay knew that wasn't like her.

He approached the far side of the bed and placed the flowers on the stand next to her bed. Kathryn's eyes moved but her face didn't change expression. Her right arm was tucked under her pillow, her left lying across her side. The blanket covering her body was pulled up only to her hips. He had never seen her in her nightclothes before but she didn't seem in any hurry to cover her body when he approached. 

"They're beautiful, Chakotay, thank you." Her voice was plain, flat and emotionless. 

"How do you feel?"

"Fine."

Chakotay watched her for a moment, the only movement he detected was the blinking of her eyelids. 

"I spoke with The Doctor. Kathryn, there was nothing you could have done. That child would have died even if she had been brought to sickbay the moment you found her."

The Doctor had performed an autopsy on the small body Kathryn had carried back from the planet. Tests had revealed that the baby, and probably the other people Kathryn had discovered in the cave, had died of a hideous virus that was virtually unstoppable. Like the Vidiian Phage, it was indigenous to that species and The Doctor had informed Chakotay that the crew was safe. 

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Her voice was rough, cold and had an edge tinged with an emotion Chakotay couldn't quite place. 

"I don't know."

He just stood there, looking at her. 

Suddenly she turned away from him, rolling over onto her other side and facing the opposite wall.

"I would like to be alone."

"Of course."

He left immediately and returned to his quarters. In the darkened room he tried to think about crew rotations, food stocks, anything to keep his mind off of his commanding officer and the pain he could only imagine she was feeling. He gave up after 20 minutes and helped himself to a cup of herbal tea. 

The door chime sounded.

"Come."

Kathryn entered slowly. She had changed into a plain white tunic and leggings with slip-on sandals. In her hand she bore on single rose, taken from the bouquet he had presented her earlier. She offered it to him.

"I am so sorry."

He stood before her for a moment then leaned over and took the rose into his mouth and stood back up straight, the flower now hanging from both sides of his lips. She grinned.

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"For what?" His words were muffled by the flower's stem.

"You came to comfort me and I turned you away. I apologize." She never broke eye contact with him, keeping her gaze level and even and unblinking.

"Kathryn, you've been through hell. I understand your anger."

"I didn't have to be so--cruel--didn't have to lash out at you like that. You were only trying to help." 

"Did you feel better?"

"What?" She was startled at his question.

"Getting angry at me, did that make you feel better?" He had since removed the rose from his mouth and now clutched it in his hand. He took a step towards her, closing the distance between them to just a few feet. A small tear had formed in the corner of her eye and was threatening to drip down her face.

"Yes, I did."

"I didn't take it personally, Kathryn. If it made you feel better to snip at me than that's okay."

"It's just that I felt so helpless. I tried everything to keep her alive and I failed. It was so different than trying to protect my crew. At least they can defend themselves. She was so--so defenseless." The tear did drop onto her cheek. Chakotay stepped forward and took her into his arms. It was the closest he had ever been to her. 

"You didn't fail, Kathryn. A virus over which no one had any control killed her. And, remember this. Instead of dying in that cavern alone and cold, she died in the arms of a woman that loved her. And tried to protect her. For that you are to be commended." Chakotay realized he too had a tear in his eye. Kathryn felt it on her own cheek. She looked up.

"Chakotay..?" 

"Kathryn, you are the most important person in my life," he explained, "what hurts you, hurts me."

He pulled her closer. Kathryn was enjoying the warmth of his body against hers, the pressure of his arms around her waist and his hands on her back. It had been almost four years since she had been held like this by another human being and she was thoroughly wallowing in the pleasure of him.

"Kathryn, would you like to stay here with me tonight?"

"Yes."

No hesitation, no second-guessing, no mistrust.

Kathryn knew that he wasn't propositioning her. Yes, they had started slowly down the road of a possible relationship, but that's not what his words were suggesting. His words were full of warmth and understanding, promising an evening of comforting and trying to heal deep wounds. 

He released her body, reached for her hand and led her to the couch. Chakotay lay down against the back of the couch and motioned for her to join him. She positioned her body close to his but with her back to him. He cuddled her against his body and wrapped his arms around her waist. He could feel her body relaxing and she scooted her body even closer to his, her hands resting on top of his.

In only a few minutes she was motionless. Chakotay could tell by her heavy breathing that she was dozing.

He pulled the blanket off of the back of the couch and covered them both. Then he buried his nose in her hair and fell asleep. 

~~Finis~~


End file.
